Realignment
on how to crack your spine, gently
This week we’re putting the pieces together, like a mosaic, making a beautiful shape.
Bits of writing from the past 2 weeks trying to figure out what I wanted to say and where I wanted to go…
My friend sent me some astrological posts and videos and they all say that this week is / has been intense. Tons of planets in Aries, which is also my sign etc.
Do you want to believe?
Anyway, she also said not to take it literally ;)
I’m here lying on my couch wearing my big orange puffer jacket as it’s still cold this 17th of April and my sense of time is pretty out of whack - it’s 20:19 and still bright out. Every year the dark comes quickly and then the light returns just as suddenly.
I also realised that we were somehow transported into Q2. Another year that suddenly speeds up, summer yet unorganised.
I made the confession that for weeks, months I’ve been trying to get back into running. It’s been back and forth between evenings where I said ‘come on, tomorrow we’ll go!’ and mornings where I woke up with a clear ‘ok no’.
And this is not just the usual procrastination aka ‘Innerer Schweinehund’ as we say in German, the ‘inner pigdog’, the saboteur.
I kept waking up with a hangover feeling, my back aching, aching. I previously mentioned my back pains when writing about my hike, but it’s been affecting my daily life very much, every day.
So, on the first day of my hike, walking out of Inverness, down the familiar trail along the river that splits off into the hills eventually, I called a chiropractor.
I’d been thinking about it for ages, always feeling a bit scared about putting my back in someone else’s hands. But enough was enough. I had to make progress.
These seemingly small decisions that I put off always get lots of things moving in my life when I address them. After week one of the chiropractor appointment I also booked a coaching session to break some of the patterns I see myself repeating this year and gain clarity to move forward.
This past week was so different to that intense planetary soup the week prior. Slowly slowly things are falling into place again. I’m picking up my notebook again. I’m slowly stepping into a new morning routine to give direction to my days.
This does not involve any workout atm. I am giving the ongoing chiropractor alignments time to settle and change the way I move before intensifying movement.
I’m not sure if I shared this on here before, but I am taking opera singing lessons.
This is not a new thing. I’ve been singing for a while and keep learning. My voice keeps growing. It’s really satisfying to listen back to recordings I made years ago and hear a big difference.
And I learned something yesterday when singing the song that I’m currently working on:
Starting quietly is really powerful.
It’s not just the contrast between a quiet start and the crescendo, it’s that the quiet start allows my voice to naturally build in a free and powerful way without force.
It’s not a new concept to start slowly, to take the next step that you can take now, making the next step so small that it becomes immediately achievable.
But it’s always something else experiencing the effect of it for yourself.
As I’m aligning myself, I will align my outside life too. Slowly, I’m not making any grand announcements, nor have big milestones yet.
After my coaching call I felt a bit uneasy knowing that I needed to get going with what we’d discussed to not lose momentum, to keep doubt at bay, but also a little unsure about the next step. That doesn’t mean that I’m not clear on what I should do to get things moving, but something was jarring. There was a feeling that I didn’t want to push it forward as I used to approach progress. I wanted it to be the way I do things. I wanted it to feel like an organic way of moving forward. I didn’t yet have a vision for how this would be enjoyable, how it would fit my life.
I went to the park in our gorgeous spring sun (what a change too, from that day on my couch with the puffer jacket to no more heating, sunshine, almost 20 degrees), feeling a bit guilty as I was now meant to commit and move things forward, but I felt exhausted and just wanted to get out and lie in the sun. I took my notebook and an entrepreneurship magazine and went to the park.
I didn’t even look at the magazine. For the first time in what feels like ages, I spent quiet time with my notebook. I wrote down what was on the top of my mind, namely vacations I want to take this summer and how I could make it work financially. This smoothly led me to new ideas for what we had discussed in coaching, ideas that actually felt exciting. Ideas tied to those vacations I really want.
This is my overarching dream, to live life the way I travel, with trust, just a few fixed points to get to at specific times, but no clear route needed. With research done and options considered, but then being able to improvise the in between.
Making things happen in flow and in alignment.
// Siris
This was a good reminder to me, Siris, to 'start slowly' and I love the idea of looking for more organic movement. Good luck with those vacation plans and thanks for sharing your journey! ❤️